Week 13 – Four To Go
Week 13 Recap
Chicago Bears 17, St. Louis Rams 9
Calling this Bears win a “success” would be like putting your child in remedial English and hailing his C+ as a mark of achievement. Chicago put up 126 rush yards against a team who gives up, on average, 146.2 yards per game. (i.e., the Bears ran for 20 yards less than the Rams usually allow.) SUCCESS!
ESPN summarized this game well, prefacing the highlight reel by saying they were “contractually obligated to” show the game. Kahlil Bell, the Bears’ recently acquired RB, proved what the rest of the NFL already assumed — that a third-string athlete on any other team could probably start for Chicago. And then there’s poor Kyle Boller, (remember him?!), converting just two of 14 third-down attempts, handing off to Steven Jackson almost exclusively, and throwing incompletions (17 of 23) just for a change of pace. Good times.
If I was out wandering around in Sub-Saharan Africa and a lion approached me looking for a fight, I’d be one scared fellow. However, if I was wandering around in Detroit and the Lions approached me looking to play a football game, I could sit pretty knowing that I’d have the upper hand. Amazingly, the Lions didn’t beat the Bengals this Sunday, which I’m sure has everyone super surprised.
Cedric Benson was back and managed to run for more than 100 yards, and Chad Ochocinco pulled off a season high 137 yards with his nine catches, helping the Bengals to their 23 – 13 win. But things weren’t all bad for Lions fans. Even though Matthew Stafford hurt his shoulder (which actually is bad for Lions fans), team followers got a chance to see Daunte Culpepper play! That’s good for Lions fans, right? No? Look, Lions fans, I think at this point any change is good change.
Arizona Cardinals 30, Minnesota Vikings 17
University of Phoenix Stadium presents: Two quarterbacks that should’ve gone away by now, but are somehow still effective!
The Vikings started the game almost like they have every game this season: a touchdown pass by a guy that’s only liked in Minnesota. (No, not Chili Davis.)
From there on, it became the Kurt Warner show. Warner hooked up with Boldin twice as part of a three touchdown day on 285 yards of passing.
Adrian Peterson was surprisingly grounded by the Cardinals bend-and-don’t-tell-Leinart-what-we-are-doing-later defense. Peterson had 13 carries for 19 yards, which makes nobody want to buy his shoes or whatever else he’s selling. Besides throwing two interceptions, Favre’s numbers were surprisingly and begrudgingly steady. On 30 completions, Favre threw for 275 yards.
Also worth noting: Bernard Berrian only had 36 yards of receiving. Why is this relevant? It’s not. I just don’t like him. It’s my review, live with it.
Green Bay Packers 27, Baltimore Ravens 14
Is it time to start thinking about the playoffs?
Only a month removed from the “crippling” loss to Tampa Bay, the Green Bay Packers notched another win on Monday night in front of a terrible crowd in the worst place on earth.
Neither team could keep their hands to themselves, resulting in a combined 33 penalties for 310 yards. An additional four fumbles and five interceptions guaranteed that no lead was safe, as the Packers found out after successive passes to Donald Driver became a fumble and an interception, leading to 14 points for Baltimore and a mini heart attack for the Lambeau Field crowd.
But Aaron Rodgers kept calm, finding Jermichael Finley early in the fourth quarter on a 19-yard touchdown pass to extend the lead to 10 points. From that moment on Ravens QB Joe Flacco looked downright flaccid, throwing two interceptions on successive drives and taking a game-ending sack from rookie Clay Matthews, Jr.
At 8-4, the Packers are currently in possession of the final wild card spot, but the New York Giants are only a game behind.
____________________________
____________________________
Brian’s photo journal, “A day in the life of a man wearing a Lions tank top” will not be ready this week. Brian regrets the delay, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, so, neither are photos of a grown man wearing a belly shirt produced without careful deliberation regarding the appropriate poses.
In cheerier news, Rob’s picks last week were one game better than everyone else’s. If it were not for Kurt Warner out-slingin’ Favre, he would have been a perfect 4-0, but no one here’s complaining when the Vikings lose. Anything that keeps Favre apologists quiet is quite alright with us.
Baltimore OVER Detroit (Unanimous)
Ed Reed’s beard is still day to day, but Matthew Stafford’s joie de vivre is M.I.A. -RV
Even though Flacco ate a huge suckburger before the game against Green Bay, the entire Lions team lives off suckburgers and with all that burger fat pumping through their veins they’re bound to have a coronary (of losing). -MK
Green Bay @ Chicago (Rob, Kenny & Matt pick Green Bay, Brian picks Chicago for whatever reason)
There is no life left in the Chicago Bears offense. But then again, it’s not as bad as living in Green Bay. – KB
This is a “statement game” for the Bears GM Jerry Angelo, the statement being “Good job Lovie, but you’re still fired.” -BB
Cincinnati @ Minnesota (Rob & Brian pick Cincy; Kenny & Matt pick Minny)
After a week of not making broadcasters wet, Favre gets back to his old ways. We’re still stuck with Chris Berman. We all lose. -KB
The Vikings are exhausted after a week of night-terrors in which E.J. Henderson’s disembodied leg flaps around like a fish out of water. – BB
____________________________
Are you on Twitter, too?!! OMG!
Divisionaries is created by Rob Vosters (Milwaukee), Brian Howe Battle, Kenny Bernat and Matt Kroll (Chicago).
